Recently I was privy to a girlfriend's relationship problems; hers was a classic example of what John Gray had described as "a man retreating into his cave when he does not have answers". They had broken up for personal reasons and even though I believed the guy wanted to reconcile, he needed more time to think. Repeatedly he asked for more time and it has already been a couple of months or so.
My girlfriend started out patient and understanding but her patience wore thin with time. I told her about the fabled "cave" as well as the dragon that resides in it, and we were left to acknowledge that eventually there was nothing we, as women, could do but wait and gripe.
It made me more certain that Gray's intentions were to lull his female readers into unsuspecting compliance; maybe I exaggerate but it certainly felt like the female demographic would better relate to his book and are more likely to attempt to implement actions in order to better help their relationships.
I do feel a little indignant at the suggestion of waiting indefinitely though; are we really meant to be pushed into such a helpless situation and is there really no other better solution ? I am not sure if anyone realises this, but isn't this whole idea of a woman submitting to her man's decisions (i.e. waiting tirelessly for him to exit his cave) a further propagation of the gender stereotypes set in place ?
Just some food for thought :)
I think you have made a very good point - yes, the audience of the book would tend to be more female, although Gray includes advice for men too. You can indeed say that Gray's advice suggests a kind of compliance on the part of womwen to men's behavior, even if the motive is to "maintain healthy relationships".
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